


The Love You Wanted, but Not Necessarily the Love You Needed.

by Capnbananabutt



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Healing, Heartbreak, M/M, Strength, allurance, klance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-18 12:23:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16994943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Capnbananabutt/pseuds/Capnbananabutt
Summary: A Fic of how Voltron Season 8 should have ended. It has been less than a day before the devastating final season was watched. This fic is to help and try to heal my broken soul and hopefully heal others. KICK. Obviously, there will be spoilers so read at your own risk.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This took far longer to write, having to stop every sentence and wipe my tears. It's so soon and my emotions are so raw still but I need this. I hope you enjoy this.

A soft tap drew Lance’s attention from his thoughtless gaze out the window. Lance turned his head to peer over his shoulder as the door opened and Keith poked his head in. Lance turned his attention back to the window, the view of the courtyard and gardens where construction was started on Allura’s statue below. Lance’s heart squeezed painfully and his eyes stung. It’s been only months since the war ended and life just seemed to move on as if nothing happened. As if Lance hadn't lost the love of his life after finally getting her after years of trying. It was cruel the way the world worked. Yet, there would not be a world if Allura hadn’t sacrificed herself. She was a hero. She saved the universe in all realities not just the miserable one Lance seemed to be living now without her bright light. Lance felt Keith come to stand by his side before hesitating. Keith pulled a chair up and seated himself next to Lance. Keith watched the people below working and glanced at Lance who looked utterly hollow. Keith’s heart hurt after losing Allura, he could not imagine how Lance must be feeling. Keith only wanted to comfort him and tell him that yes he may have lost someone so important but life gets better and he can be happy again, but he stayed silent just hoping his presence was comforting. Lance sniffled next to him and wiped at his eyes trying to conceal his stray tears. The last thing he wanted was Keith to mock him, yet the boy beside him stayed silent. Keith’s eyes found themselves lingering on the light blue marks on both cheeks, left as a painful reminder for what he has lost. Keith wanted nothing more than for LAnce to see them as symbol of strength. That he can overcome anything and that Allura will be with him to guide him, he did not want Lance to feel this pain anymore. What could he do? He had watched this boy mature and grow so much over the years working at his side. He has grown to love the parts Lance hates about himself. love s his courage and his bravery but also his huge heart that is so easily broken. He wants to protect him from everything so he can just be happy again. Lance without a smile is a somber sight indeed. 

 

The two sat in silence for a while before Keith decided to speak up. He cleared his throat softly to ensure his voice did not waver. He needed to be strong so LAnce could lean on him if he needed to. He needed to be there for him.

“Lance..” He said his voice soft. Lance barely caught it so deep in his own head. He glanced over and his breath halted as he met eyes with Keith. His eyes burned so intensely with emotions Lance couldn’t begin to decipher. Keith’s eyes wandered to his blue altean marks again before gently bringing his hand up to run a gentle thumb over one.

“I’m sorry you’re hurting. I’m here if you need anything. You know..Like talking or something..” keith said dropping his hand quickly seeing Lance’s soft shocked expression. Keith scratched his neck nervously but was relieved when Lance gave him the faintest of smiles. It was something. Lance turned back to the window and Keith settled in again assuming he was just wanting silence for now. 

“I miss her. So much.” Keith looked over hearing Lance speak. The sound of raw emotion making Keith’s stomach form a pit. Keith didn’t say a word letting Lance continue. He had barely spoke a word to anyone the past few months. After the Memorial service Lance had hidden himself away from the world, everyone leaving him be so he could heal. Keith couldn’t stand seeing lance alone anymore.

“I know why she did it.. I just wish she didn't have to. I wish I could have helped more..or..or..” his voice cracked and he clenched his fists tightly on his thighs trying to hold in the emotions trying to burst the floodgates in his heart. “I wish I could have saved her.” Keith watched as the boy in front of him was arely holding himself together and it broke Keith’s heart. Keith gently laid his hand atop of Lance’s before speaking.

“She did what she knew was right. She wanted to save the world she knew you would be in. She wanted you to live on for the both of you. I know you must miss her so much but Lance.. She wouldn’t want to see you like this. You know that.” He was never good with comforting words but the way Lance looked at him his eyes shining with tears and hope made Keith's heart swell.

“I know. Everytime I think I’m ready something reminds me of her and I just want to see her..One more time. Tell her everything I never had a chance to. Then I realize I never will be able too and I just get so..” he trailed off and Keith nodded in understanding. “I loved her Keith. I don’t know how I can heal this gaping hole in my chest without her here. I feel as if I can never love again and I know that’s silly but..I just feel so empty.” Keith scooted his chair a bit closer so he could fully grasp Lance’s hand.

“She loved you too. She loved you enough to allow you to live on and find love and happiness again. Because you deserve to be happy Lance. You’ve worked so hard and you deserve nothing less than your own world of happiness.” Lance stared at the floor having given up trying to wipe the tears that fell freely now. “The way you heal that hole is by filling it with other things that can make you happy and take the edge off the pain you feel. It gets better. You will always miss her and a piece of you will always be gone but.. It gets easier and easier to manage each day. Soon you can smile and truly be happy even though some part of you will always feel the loss. When I lost my dad, my whole world felt as if it ended. I was so alone. Then I met Shiro and he helped heal the parts of me I never thought would heal. I found things that can make me smile and feel full. Of course I miss my dad, but knowing he died a hero, like Allura, brings me peace and pride. To know that someone I loved had sacrificed so much for others. I’m proud. I’m proud of Allura and of you too. You’re so strong, you just need to find that strength within yourself again and hold your head up. Take on the world and live everyday to the fullest and be able to look around and feel the pride that I felt knowing that someone you cared for made it possible to be here today. For everyone to be here today. The world is finally at peace after ten thousand years. Allura did that. She loved you and she did that. Be proud of that.” Silence followed and Keith felt he may have overspoken but Lance wiped at his face quickly and held his head up. He sniffled a few more times before looking over at Keith with a smile. True honest thankful smile that made Keith smile in return. 

“Thank you.”


	2. Chapter 2

With Altea thriving with construction of the new Castle of Lions, Allura’s Memorial, and all the intergalactic Diplomacy going on, the planet was a buzz. Coran was seeing the construction over while making sure to visit the Paladins every so often. Pidge and Matt were working on their newest addition, a small robot named Chip. Keith was working with the Blade alongside Krolia and Kolivan. He stayed back on Altea so he video conference with them. He could not leave right now. Hunk was working hard in the kitchens with his new dream team whooping out delicious meals all day. Shiro had been getting closer with a man named Curtis, a crew member of Atlas. Everyone was happy. Except Lance. He sat on a bench as a gentle breeze blew, carrying the sweet aroma of Juniberries. He stared out at the pink fields filled with the flowers noting their beauty could not be compared. He was doing his best to smile and do just enough that no one can see that he is still breaking into pieces inside. Everyone seemed fooled except Keith who always showed up and made sure Lance was okay. Lance was grateful for Keith. They had grown so close over the years and he couldn't imagine going through this without him. Keith knew what to say and what to do to help ease the sharp pains in Lance’s chest. He could urge a smile from him even if the world was dark around him. Shiro helped a lot too. He had lost Adam and the pain of that was still fresh and he promised to help Lance heal so they could heal together. Lance was lucky to have the friends he did. Lucky to be able to sit here on Altea and look out over the beautiful planet. He only wished Allura had been able to see it once more too. He touched his cheeks gently feeling them glow the softest blue. That’s right. She was here now. She was always here. 

 

“Keith! My boy! Good to see you!” Coran greeted the blade member as was walking past the Castle of Lions. Keith stopped and admired the progress they’ve made. It made him smile as he recalled all the memories on the Castle. First becoming a Paladin.. It seemed a lifetime ago.

“It’s beautiful, Coran.” he said and Coran beamed at him admiring it as well. 

“I wish Allura could see it. She would be so happy” He said his voice heavy with grief. Coran had not taken it well but he was always putting on a show. Coran seemed to be able to hold himself together knowing his work was important to keeping her memory alive. Keith admired his strength and optimism. 

“Have you seen Lance?” Keith asked and Coran noded a bit and pointed towards the trails leading to the field.

“He went on a walk not but a few dobashes ago!” Keith thanked Coran, said a farewell and headed down the trails. He had brought something special in hopes of cheering Lance up. Keith walked down the soft dirt path, the Juniberry fields blowing gently. Keith slowed hs gait seeing Lance come into view. His shoulders sagged and his head resting in his hands. Keith frowned a bit but continued over. 

“Hey” Keith called and Lance looked up and gave him a small smile. Keith sat himself next to the other boy on the bench before pulling out a small bundle of something wrapped in cloth.

“I had Hunk make you these.” He said passing the warm goodies over to Lance. Lance unwrapped the cloth and the savory smell of butter and garlic hit his nose and he gazed down at half a dozen of perfectly golden brown Garlic Knots in shock.

“Keith..” he breathed before picking one up gingerly. He took a bite and sighed as the taste of home immediately comforted him. He finished the one before holding them out for Keith to have some. Keith smiled and took one thanking him.

“Man. these are good.” Keith said around his mouth full of the warm flaky treat. LAnce just nodded enjoying hs second one. They sat and ate the Garlic Knots enjoying each other’s presence. Plans on returning to earth had been finalized. Lance was so excited to go home, to his family. But that also meant Keith would be reuniting with the Blade, not on earth and the thought of Keith being so far away made Lance dread it. He hadn’t felt alone since Keith had been by his side these past months. Keith made him feel whole again and he wasn’t ready for that to end. Once the garlic knots were devoured the two walked back together.

“There will be a big dinner for your departure back home. Hunk is making everything extra special he says” Keith said as they walked. Lance nodded a bit. Hunk and Pidge were just as excited to go home. Lance tried to share their enthusiasm. 

“You sure you don’t want to go back too? Even for a little while?” Lance asked looking over at Keith. He seemed so confident now. So sure of himself. His strong jaw held high as he walked. Like he had everything figured out. Lance envied that. Keith turned to look at him and he was surprised by the genuine softness in his face.

“I wish I could. I plan on visiting in the next few months but I need to make sure everything is on track with the Blade first. “ He said and Lance just nodded. He had assumed so. 

“I’ll really miss you.” Lance said his voice quiet and Keith stopped walking before turning to face him.

 

“I’ll miss you too. You just have to keep being you. The strong, brave you. You’ll be fine. I’ll visit so often it’ll feel like I never left.” Keith promised. Lane held out his hand his pinky in the air. Keith smiled and wrapped his own little finger sealing the promise. 

 

“You don’t look very excited to be going home.” Shiro commented seeing Lance sitting so quietly as they waited for their farewell dinner to begin.

“I am..I just. It’s going to be hard. Leaving everything behind. “ Lance said and Shiro took a seat on the small sofa in the common room.

“I know. You’re not leaving forever. You are only one wormhole away from Altea you know. You can come whenever you like. It will always be here for you.” 

“I just miss being together with everyone. Now everyone is doing their own thing.. I feel like I will just barely see you guys anymore.” Shro studied the smaller boy beside him.

“You mean Keith?” Shiro said knowing he was the only one staying behind. LAnce looked over and nodded a bit.

“He’s just helped me so much. I don’t know how I’m going to do without him there. “ 

Shiro rubbed his chin in thought. “You know he will visit though. We will all be friends, always. We’re family. Unless…” Shiro trailed off with a small twinkle in his eye that made LAnce a little nervous.

“Unless what?” Lance asked narrowing his eyes at the man who was trying to hide his smirk.

“Unless you want Keith around for other reasons.” Shiro said and Lance's smile faltered a bit. Lance looked at the ground his heart beating fast enough to leap out of his chest. Keith? More than friends? That’s not.. He loved Allura. 

“Keith is a great guy, I just.. I love Allura.”

“Lance.. You can always love Allura. No one can take that away. That does not mean you can’t love again. Someone else. When I lost Adam.. I never thought it possible to have these feelings for another person. Meeting Curtis, made me rethink that. You can love more than once. It may not be as strong as your first love, it never is. Allura would want you to be happy and if that’s with Keith.. So be it. You guys are closer than anyone. If he can fill the void that was left then why not let him?”

“Because I’m scared.” Lance admitted. He had confused his feelings with feelings of gratitude but hearing Shiro say these things he realized he may feel more for the boy with the dumb mullet. He never thought it possible. 

“Sometimes, the love you want isn’t always the love you need.”

 

…

 

The dinner was off to a banging start. Laughter filled the large dining hall as Paladins and Aliens alike shared their last meal together for a while. Stories were shared, drinks were poured and it was a great evening. Lance picked at his food a bit noticing Keith had not arrived yet. His attention drawn as Keith rushed into the dining hall his hair sticking every which way. Lance couldn’t help but smile as Keith walked towards him. Each step he took the warmer his heart felt. Keith took the empty seat next to Lance with a grin.

“Hey. Sorry I was late. I got held up with the Humanitarian Group. They are heading out tomorrow too.” Lance nodded and smiled back. Ezor and Zethrid were starting an organization to go out and help those affected by the war. It had been Keith’s idea so he saw to some of the progress. Keith started eating realizing his own hunger and before long everyone around the table were having a good time and were happy. Even Lance. 

 

…

 

The next morning was a rush of goodbyes and hugs and some tears as the Paladins sid farewell. There was a small parade in honor of them and as a goodbye from the Alteans. Everyone was now loading up the small ship and the wormhole was being prepared or their trip back to earth. Lance was still in Blue’s hangar. Sitting comfortably on her metal paw. He was going to miss her, she would be here always but Lance felt like he was leaving everyone behind. Allura. Keith. It hurt him but he wasn’t sure of what else to do. What would he do if he just stayed behind on Altea? He wanted to be useful again. Be needed by someone. 

“Hey” Keith’s voice broke his thoughts. Keith was leaning against the doorway to the hangar. LAnce sat up straight with a smile.

“Hey.” he replied. Keith walked in gazing up at Blue with a fond smile.

‘Seems crazy. Going home after so much has happened.” Lance nodded in agreement and reached out a hand touch Blue lovingly. A soft rumble of a purr coursed through Lance’s veins as he felt the affectionate energy of the Lion.

“I’ll sure miss her.” Lance said before standing up.

“Goodbye Girl. It was an honor flying with you.”

 

…

Back in the loading bay Lance was carrying one of his luggage containers and handed it off to one of the crew who would store it.

“Thank you.” he said passing it off. That was the last one, Lance thought sadly not having anymore excuse to delay their departure. Everyone was boarding now and Lance turned over his shoulder to see Keith smiling after him. He held his hand up in a small wave of farewell. Lance waved back with his own sad smile. Lance started towards the stairs but stopped. He hesitated before turning and running to Keith throwing his arms around his neck.

“Thank you. For everything,.” he whispered and Keith wrapped his arms around his waist holding tightly his own chest tightening. He had been dreading the day Lance would leave, leave him. 

“I’ll see you soon..” Keith said and Lance’s eyes widened a bit and he pulled away ever so slightly.

“That’s it!” He said and Keith cocked his head a bit with a questioning look.

“I’ll come with you.” Lance said and Keith was trying to hide his excited smile at that.

“To the Blade?” he asked and Lance nodded eagerly.

“I mean.. It’s only for a few months. Maybe I can help out..ya know? With planning or something.” Lance said now super self conscious of his offer. Keith seemed to just be even happier about it.

“Are you sure?” he asked and Lance nodded again. He was sure.

“Hey! Change of plans! I need my stuff back. Please!” Lance said and Keith helped him unload his things before they both said farewell to the other PAladins. Keith and Lance watched the pod enter the wormhole and watched the sky for a while longer. They were alone at this point and Lance felt the slightest brush of fingers. He glanced over at Keith who was red as anything and averting his gaze. LAnce’s heart leapt a bit and he slowly rpaped his fingers around Kieht’s. They met eyes and couldn’t stop the stupid smiles meant for each other.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last bit. This whole thing was written to help me heal. It helped. I am at a peaceful calm and I am so blessed to have had the chance to love Voltron. I'm happy.

ONE YEAR LATER

 

“Move move move! We have a wedding to prepare for!” Hunk called in the kitchen. The crew was frantically running about preparing the meals for the wedding that evening. 

“I see you're enjoying yourself.” A voice behind Hunk made him whip around and he cried out in joy and ran over scooping up Lance in a bear hug.

“I’ve missed you so much man” He cried softly and Lance laughed a bit and hugged his old friend.

“It’s only been two months.” Lance laughed with a warm smile. Lance had left earth to visit Keith at the Blade’s headquarters for a while. It’s been almost a year since the two became closer than friends. Neither knew what to call it, both too shy to actually ask the other one out but there was something there. Something Lance would not have guessed could have been there after losing Allura. He missed her so much but having Keith at his side made it so she only crossed his mind when he was happily remembering her. His heart again filled with friends, family, and love.

“I have to go! But I’ll see you later tonight at the wedding!” Hunk said giving one more fond hug before rushing back to the kitchen. Lance smiled watching him go before heading out. He wanted to greet his friends before settling in. He had missed them. Keith had not been able to fly back with Lance having had a meeting but he would be arriving in time for the Wedding. Lance was so happy for Shiro. Curtis had popped the question not long ago and seeing Shiro so happy gave Lance hope. They had bost lost loves and they can both find love again. It was inspiring.

After catching up with Pidge and meeting Chip, the creepy little thing, Lance was exploring the familiar Castle walls. The Castle of Lions finished and standing beautifully as the day Lance first laid eyes on it. He walked the halls letting the memories flow freely. His heart felt a soft pang but he smiled and leaned against the wall closing his eyes. His hands gently brushed his cheeks always feeling closer to Allura feeling the marks she had left him.

“I miss you.” he said wishing she could be here to see Shiro’s big day. A warm hum ran through him and he opened his eyes recognizing the affectionate feeling. He hurried off down to the Hangar of the Blue Lion to greet his favorite girl.

 

The sun was starting it’s descent in the sky meaning the wedding was about to start soon. Lance was in a white suit along with Hunk and Pidge. They were all groomsmen for Shiro’s side. Lance was leaning over the railing gazing a the tall statue of Allura, having been completed. It as beautiful. It captured her perfectly and Lance couldn’t take his eyes off it. His cheeks warmed and he took a deep breath trying to will away the sad feeling trickling in. 

“It’s beautiful. They did a great job.” the voice behind Lance was enough to warm his whole body and bring a smile to his face. Lance turned to see Keith looking fine as wine in his own white suit.

“You made it!” Lance said excitedly throwing himself onto him in a hug. Keith barely caught the excited bundle of boy.

“I promised I would.” he responded with a small smile. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Lance straightened up and fixed his suit with a wide grin. Everyone was together again. 

...

The ceremony was beautiful. Seeing Shiro and Curtis so grossly in love and tying their lives together was beautiful. Each paladin sniffing back tears as they watched the man who had become more than a hero, more than a friend, but a leader and a guiding light. It was magical and Lance was barely keeping it together. Keith watched him closely ready to spring into action if he saw an ounce of sadness on his beautiful tan face. This was a happy event and Lance deserved to be happy. Once the kisses were exchanged, and a not so sneaky ass grab on Curtis’s part, the after celebrations had begun. Everyone milled around and a soft murmur of pleasant conversation filled the sky which was soft orange and pinks illuminated by the setting sun. Allura’s statue glowed over them, as if she too was looking down fondly. Hunk’s food was a smash and every alien alike was shouting their approval as they feasted on his menu. Lance was leaning against the railing of Allura’s memorial lost in thought as he picked at his swirled cake. He was happy. Content. His life was good. He had Keith, his family. He had even been offered a position to study at the Garrison again to become a Commander. His life was good. The world was safe and at peace. He was happy. 

 

“Are you going to eat that?” Keith’s voice broke into Lance’s thoughts. Lance looked up and realized he had demolished the cute dessert and it was a pile of crumbs on his plate.

“Oh.. I didn’t even realize..” he said with a small laugh. He sat the plate down on the railing and Keith went to join him, leaning against it next to him.

“Congrats on the promotion though. Garrison huh? Maybe you can help teach Iverson the modern ways.” Keith teased and Lance rolled his eyes.

“His teaching was fine Keith. You just have no self control.” Lance argued and Keith shrugged with a small smile.

“I didn’t. But man, it felt nice when my fists landed on his face. Some things, are just worth doing. Plus, If i had never gotten expelled, I never would have lived a lonely life in the desert obsessed with energy frequencies and we never would have saved Shiro, or found the Blue Lion, and Voltron may have never happened. So. In light of that, I am glad I got expelled. It caused a crazy reaction but I got you out of it. I got a family again. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” 

“Wow. I don’t think you have ever said so much at one time.” Lance snorted a bit but his heart was warm and he couldn’t help but smile at his words.

“I’m glad you did too, Mullet.” He teased lancing at Keith’s ponytail. He hated to admit buta ponytail suited Keith too well. 

“I thought we were passed that!” Keith huffed pushing Lance’s shoulder a bit.

“Oh did you? Just because we had a bonding moment you think we’re passed that huh?” Lance said crossing his arms glancing sideways at Keith who was just staring wide eyed at him.

“Wait.” Keith leaned over with narrow eyes. “You remember. “ Lance threw a wink and Keith threw his hands in the air with a dramatic gasp.

“All this time! Lance! I swear I’m going to-” he was cut off by Lance’s lips pressed gently to his. Keith returned the kiss quickly not wanting to miss even a millisecond of it. HIs hand rested on top of Lance’s gently which was gripping his suit.

Lance broke away his cheeks a warm with his increasing blush.

“Of course I remember.”

 

…

 

As the night drew to a close everyone was crowded around the street waving and sending the two newly weds off to their honeymoon. They all watched as the two entered the wormhole and disappeared. Everyone started dispersing the air light with happiness. Hunk was helping a very sleepy Pidge home after saying goodnight to Lance and Keith. Lance was helping clean up a bit when Keith found him. Keith started helping and lance smile gratefully at him.

“Man. I’m so happy for Shiro. He deserved this.” Lance said tossing the garbage he had collected away. Keith nodded a bit unable to stop staring. He had picked up one plate before he looked up and was starstruck. The string lights illuminating of Lance’s skin made him glow under them. His altean marks seemed to be glowing a soft bit showing off his true happiness he must be feeling in that moment. He was beautiful.

“You deserve it too.” keith blurted and Lance looked over with a raised eyebrow.

“What do you mean?” he asked and Keith dropped the plate and walked over quickly taking both of Lance’s hands.

“Let’s get married.” he said before his brain could process what his mouth just spilled. Lance’s eyes widened and he just gaped at Keith stunned and lost for words.

“I-I eman..” Keith stammered. “Not now. I mean. Not soon. But, I want to. At some point. You’ve brought so much to my life that I don’t want to ever be apart from. We don’t have to rush things but by the Ancients Lance I want to marry you..” Lance just stared his eyes searching Keith's face for any trace of uncertainty. The eyes that gazed at him were only filled with confidence and desire and a hint of excitement.

“I..” lance started and placed his hands on Keith's cheeks. His fingers brushed his scar gently as he leaned over leaving the lightest of kisses. “I want to marry you too.” 

 

…

 

Love is hard. It’s painful and messy but it’s also beautiful. You learn about yourself, about others. It teaches you. It teaches you patience, acceptance, it teaches you how to love not just yourself but to open your heart to others. To love is to allow someone in and give them your trust not to break you. Love is sweet and soft and can fill you from head to toe with warm fuzzy feelings. It can lift you up when you fall. It can help you regain a sense of reality when things are hard. Love is inside everyone. Someone people have a harder time displaying it. Or accepting it. Someone people may love too much and always seem to get hurt, but Love is never a bad thing. Losing someone you love is one of the most painful things but to have been able to love them. To have had that honor to be someone’s most desired thought. To have that connection, that soul link, it makes it all worth it. Losing people is inevitable. Every good thing comes to an end. But learning to instead celebrate the fact that that there was that moment in time. And to also learn that love comes again. It isn’t the same love. But a different love that can heal wounds and teach you more than the last one. It is always growing and changing and sometimes you don’t realize it right away. Sometimes you don’t realize that the Love you want may not necessarily be the love you need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fin


End file.
